Hi Everyone

It’s been a while since the last blog post. I’ve been a little busy with the new day job so apologies for that. I’ve sratching my head wondering what to address in the next post when I got the email below from Tom. Most of you who train on Thursdays will know Tom. He asks an intersting question about awareness.

Thanks Tom, I’ve given my views below your email. It’ll be interesting to see what other people feel and what experiences they have.

Look forward to seeing you at the next class.

Aasim

Hi Aasim
 
This is Tom - I’m the one who wears the headband during your Thursday class !
 
I wanted to ask a question through your blog but I can’t work out how to post it so I hope it is OK to email you. If you feel this question is worthy of your bog please feel free to add it as I would welcome any suggestions.
 
I live in an area where I a quite often get people coming up to me and asking me for money. In order to avoid any problems I always walk straight passed. However, on occassions there will be people who come up to me genuinely wanting information. Yesterday, a young guy was walking towards me down a quiet road. As I approached, he stopped and started fiddling with his shoes. I was immediately aware and contemplated crossing the road. I didn’t, but continued to approach him. When I got up to him he asked me for directions to the tube. As it happened he was really polite and I had obviously misjudged him. However, as I walked away I started to wonder what I should have done to minimise any risk in case he had become aggresive. I suppose the key is to stand in such a position that would have made it difficult for him to attack me. It seems a bit unnatural to stand too far away from someone when talking to them, or standing there with my hands up in the defensive position. I tried practicing this with my wife (!) and even standing slightly off to the side resulted in her moving so that she was facing me head on. It then felt stupid constantly moving off to the side to combat this.
 
Do you have any suggestions? Looking forward to the next class.
 
Many thanks
 
Tom

 

Hey Tom,

Thanks for the email … interesting question.

I swear I saw you at Victoria station last week in a suit still wearing that headband! No I’m just kidding, who am I to talk? Trainers, cargo pants and Metallica t-shirts are right at the limit of my adventurous spirit when it comes to sartorial elegance.

A good question mate, I agree you can’t live life like a paranoid individual who sees threat everywhere. The world is not that bad a place, there are plenty more good people than bad … I personally hate them all. Good or bad! But I’m a miserable old misanthrope and you don’t want to end up like me.

In the scenario you describe here are some things I personally would do, it will be interesting to see how others approach this.

Firstly I would check his hands, can I see for sure that he is not holding or hiding a weapon in his hand. Any doubt, just cross the road and keep away from him. I’d rather be wrong and mildly embarrassed than dealing with a knife.

If I was sure he wasn’t carrying a weapon in his hands I would still bring my hands up even if not in an obvious “fence” with arms out stretched. For example, I would rub my hands together as I ask him “Alright mate? What’s up?” as I talk to him I’ll keep moving my hands and gesticulating as I speak. All the while with my peripheral vision I’ll keep an eye on any movement of his arms. If he tries to come closer I have my hands up and already moving so I’ll gently place one on his shoulder to make him keep distance, I might even say “Sorry mate do you mind keeping back?”.  If he ignores this and keeps trying to move into my space then I’m going to be suspicious of his motives and I’ll just leave. Also if I’m giving him directions I won’t show him my back while I do so, If I need to point down the road I’ll stand to his side and slightly behind him, again if he keeps trying to get behind me or does anything that looks or feels suspicious I’m going to create even more distance and just get out of there.

If for some reason getting away is not possible and the situation does deteriorate to a point where you have to take physical action to protect yourself then at least you have given yourself some room, which buys you time to act.

One thing that always helps mark you out as a hard target rather than a potentially easy one for an attacker is how you look and sound. Speak clearly and purposefully with authority, use definite and purposeful gestures, have an erect and commanding body posture, maintain a generally neat and tidy appearance.


One more thing I’d like to add … dont give everyone the benefit of the doubt, if your adrenaline is telling you someone feels like trouble, keep walking, be polite and firm but don’t feel you have to stop and engage just to be polite. More tips on awareness and avoidance and how to help judge if someone has ulterior motievs can be found here.

Feel free to comment and add your opinions.

If you have anything you’d like to address on the Blog - about techniques, strength and physical conditioning, soft skills for self protection or indeed anything self protection related just send me an email and we’ll see about setting up a post.

Cheers,

Aasim